Biography

Clickez-vous for Norv, Robin and Huw

NORV
Born on planet Tharg in the late 1700s Norval’s space ship crash landed on the moon, hitching a ride with Neil, Buzz and the other guy he finally found his way to earth. Escaping from area 51 in the early 1970s he snorkelled his way across the Atlantic and assumed human form upon arrival in Scotland where a chance hearing of Status Quo’s “Caroline” reaffirmed his faith in mankind.

Now a permanent resident in the Mavis Mongoose home for the terminally bewildered, Norval is often puzzled to find himself spanking the plank, he thought he was knitting. His pet fish tells us that the man himself, though capable of rational thought (but only on Tuesdays) has recently taken up the button accordion and polka is now his life. Norval is also a member of the “Dog Pound Poodles” whose Cd’s; Fat Wille, Never Been To Paris, Catfishing, Buy This CD (or the puppy gets it), Circo Zirvatta, Dogs Dinner, Free Hotel (and the other three I cant remember the names of just now) will be available from this web site soon.

In his more lucid moments he has also managed several solo albums; The Cats Pyjamas, Fake, More Songs About Dogs And Stuff, Sad But True and the new one which hasn’t got a title yet (but I am reliably informed that its dead good!) all soon to be available from this web site.

He also produced the first three General Skullduggery Cds.; Gunboat Diplomacy, Pastor of Muppets and The Difficult Third Album and guess what, they too will be available from this very web site soon! When he grows up he wants to be an Art Teacher.

ROBIN
International playboy, racing driver, scuba and deep sea diver, and hatched from a stray bit of Robert Redford’s DNA, Robin, for that is he, gave up writing the classic romantic novel of all time and devoted his life to purchasing stuff. Never has the phrase “all toyed up” been more apt. After being diagnosed as having more money than sense, Robin took to psychotherapy and started collecting psychotherapists; he now has 57 all in little jars in his garage.

Musically haunted since falling into a baby grand at the tender age of 31 he realised that the only true musical form worth bothering about was hitting things very hard. After smashing up several violins, two recorders, a harp and utterly annihilating an itinerant bagpipe player with a rubber chicken full of luke warm custard, he stumbled into a drum shop and the fog was lifted from his eyes. “The fog has been lifted from my eyes,” he said, as drums flew from the boutique into his Aston Martin.

Deciding not to take up the role of 007, Robin is, at this very moment, thinking of killing the person responsible for this biography.

HUW
But for an accident of birth, Huw could and should have been the present King of Norway. However, as he was conceived on board the Titanic and issued forth in a lifeboat, (women and children first) his musical fate was sealed.

Nurtured by a seal and taught to play the Andalucian fugal horn by an Eskimo called Bob, Huw won a scholarship to the famed "Ecole de Deepfries" in Paris. This he spent on Cider in the bar at Bristol Temple Meads.

Aware that the dragons would eat him if he returned to the cave; he got a job carrying Jimmy Pages plectrum (in a special biscuit tin) on his little publicised tour of Taiwan. Realising the awesome potential of the man beast in his employ, Page sold Huw to David Coverdale where he spent many a happy year holding a hair drier at exactly 26 degrees to the vertical.

Misplaced by Coverdale in a chip shop in Huddersfield, Huw was adopted by the Wombles. Sadly his time on the common was cut short when uncle Bulgaria was filmed “doing it” with madam Cholet, his new family in tatters Huw found gainful employment as a piano leg on the last ELP tour.

The knives proved too much and Huw jumped ship in Switzerland where he lived in Phil Collins sock drawer for the next twenty-six years.
Erupting in 1976, Huw held a press conference and announced that he would play a bass with too many strings and become a rock god.
After a few false starts, Deep Burple, Status Squid, No, Scabba, Led Hotairballoon, Wooden Maiden, Chas and Pete, and Brummie Rebel.

Finally, after turning down the lead singer's job in Boyzone, Huw formed the Beer Monsters and deep impacted the world of rock like a frantic asteroid full of Tizer and bits of soggy crisps.

The rest is history.